"I'M LIVING ALONE!!!!"
That's what Macaulay Caulkin proclaims as a child in one of my favorite Christmas Movies, Home Alone.
That's kind of how I feel.
I don't want to make my family disappear (most days) but there definitely is NO shortage of company around here...
It's such a strange feeling to be married and living alone. Separation and divorce is such a weird state of limbo. In my apartment it's me and the kids...but as most of you know...my apartment is in my sister Tabatha's basement...so I'm not far away from company....and what that means is...
I've become a squatter upstairs :P
I know I'll outgrow it but for now I haven't been living much downstairs. I buy groceries and they go in Tab's fridge, I buy laundry soap and it goes in Tab's laundry room, and I only go downstairs to sleep.
I'm not scared of being alone. I relish it at times. But at the moment I'd just rather be with people who love me during my waking hours. Who wouldn't?
And for the record.....I apparently know I'm single on even a subconscious level at this point. They say that when you have mastered a foreign language, you will begin to dream in that language. Last night I dreamt....and in my dream I was single. So I thought that was an interesting turn of events...just a lot for my mind to process :)
And to those of you who have contacted me to ask how I'm doing...forgive me for my laziness in response. I'm actually doing quite well. I am focused on my work, my kids...and my happiness. I'm wading through a lot of crap to find my happiness...but it's out there...and I'm gonna get it!
That's what Macaulay Caulkin proclaims as a child in one of my favorite Christmas Movies, Home Alone.
That's kind of how I feel.
I don't want to make my family disappear (most days) but there definitely is NO shortage of company around here...
It's such a strange feeling to be married and living alone. Separation and divorce is such a weird state of limbo. In my apartment it's me and the kids...but as most of you know...my apartment is in my sister Tabatha's basement...so I'm not far away from company....and what that means is...
I've become a squatter upstairs :P
I know I'll outgrow it but for now I haven't been living much downstairs. I buy groceries and they go in Tab's fridge, I buy laundry soap and it goes in Tab's laundry room, and I only go downstairs to sleep.
I'm not scared of being alone. I relish it at times. But at the moment I'd just rather be with people who love me during my waking hours. Who wouldn't?
And for the record.....I apparently know I'm single on even a subconscious level at this point. They say that when you have mastered a foreign language, you will begin to dream in that language. Last night I dreamt....and in my dream I was single. So I thought that was an interesting turn of events...just a lot for my mind to process :)
And to those of you who have contacted me to ask how I'm doing...forgive me for my laziness in response. I'm actually doing quite well. I am focused on my work, my kids...and my happiness. I'm wading through a lot of crap to find my happiness...but it's out there...and I'm gonna get it!
7 comments:
I remember when I moved to my own apartment when my husband and I separated. It was hard at first, but those 2 years alone was the best time of my life. I was finally free!!!! To do what I wanted and be what I wanted. I didn't have to check in with anyone and loved every minute of it.
I hope things work out for you.
that is an offputting state of limbo to be in... but hopefully it will in turn bring you strength and YES you will DEFINATELY get your happiness!
xo
I love your beautiful state of mind Lena. You can make it through ANYTHING!
That is what family is for -- to be there when you need to feel accepted and loved. It's a shame more of us don't live that closely together anymore -- I certainly miss living near my sister! I'm glad you are doing so well and hope for even more strength and happiness to come.
Wonderful reading and HUGS
you sound super positive and I know you gonna make it! take care!
Glad you are feeling happy. :)
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